i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Randomize
