yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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