She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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