that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
