For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
