How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
40s are totally the cure
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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