I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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