It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
