Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
