She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
