butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
