it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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