So gin and wine won't be happening again
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
