flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
