Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You're a waste of cheezeits
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize