Whod you bang
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
