Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
