i jhust puked up my retainher.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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