Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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