we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
We are all done wearing pants today
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
