It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
