Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
