even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Randomize