it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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