You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
