using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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