This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
