so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
