so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I deserve this hangover.
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