im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
