Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize