i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
