i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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