I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
