who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize