sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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