theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
