Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize