i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
