Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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