Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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