i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
In other news, I just burned my penis
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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