I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Randomize
