K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize