I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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