I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
