I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
