Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize