just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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