Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
