I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
