Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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