totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
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