piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
