I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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