I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
