Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
