You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
