Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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