This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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