What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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