Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
